Camp Cameron 2010 (4)

Here comes the night series
"Redeeming relationships"

The speaker spoke about redeeming relationship with God during the first week of camp.
Then we were given different exercises to do to allow God to reveal what are some brokenness in our relationship with Him.

What were our experiences with the idols/ other gods before we came to know Jesus that might now hinder our relationship with our God?

What are some of the distorted views that we have about God?
(eg, since we call Him Father in heaven, are our views on God distorted because our imperfect fathers on earth influence us to have weird thoughts about our God?)

What hinder us from getting closer to God?
(eg, sins, refusal to forgive)

I found myself struggling with this issue.
I always want something that I don't have.
In other words, I find myself seething with jealousy.

When I look at my friends, I ask God.
God, why do You give her so much?
Good look, good family, talents, money?

Why is she better looking than me? She is so attractive.

Why is she born in a good Christian family? She has all the education she needs. She need not worry about so many things.

Why is she so talented? She sings very well. She plays the piano. She leads. She 's sociable. All eyes are on her.

Why does she have so much money to spend on herself, looking even better.
God, I want a dslr. Why so many of my friends can afford to have one?

Thank God that I always repent very fast and did not do anything disastrous.
I stopped at just thinking.
But I never stopped asking.
As I quietened down myself, I knew that it was God who was speaking to me.
So gently.

Can good look satisfies you?
Sincerely I searched my heart.
I answered, no.

Can a good family satisfies you?
A good family can matter so much! But can it really satisfy me?
No. Reluctantly, I answered.

Can money satisfy you?
With money I can buy so many things. But will I be truly satisfied?
I answered, no.

Not even a DSLR, what you really want since a long time ago, can satisfy you.
Not even by traveling to Prague and Maldives, your dream vacations, can satisfy you.

His voice was so soft and gentle. He wasn't scolding. He wasn't impatient. He was like a father patiently explaining to a young childish kid.

Then I asked, Lord, what then can satisfy me?
Me, He said.

How?
I AM WHO I AM. This is my name. (Exodus 3:14)

?????
????
???
??
?

I didn't understand.
At last, I got it.

Very gently, He told me.

I AM WHO I AM.

I will be your eternal lover.
I will be your friend.
I will give you the security you need.
I will be who you need.

I can't describe the feeling.
It is like you knew exactly that He is there with you.

Is that peace?
I don't know.