where is athens?

On Sabbath.

Every Sunday in camp we observed Sabbath.
Sabbath was commanded by God. We cease from what we are working on and rest before God.

In camp, we tried something special.

We had a short service in the morning. Then from 10am to 5pm, we were not supposed to talk to anyone!

The camp site isn't that big. Everywhere we went we meet people. Not to talk? No activity? Do what?

We were given a few questions to reflect on what we had learned during the week. What God had been speaking to me this week? What we had jot down during talks and no time to ponder.

Every Sabbath when I looked into my notes to examine my relationships, my heart went very heavy.

I opened my note book. When I wanted to look at what I had written during the week regarding my own relationships, I felt the reluctance in my heart. I wanted to close the note book and go to sleep.

But I knew I should not run away anymore.
I need to be honest to myself.
When any problem arose, I just pushed the thoughts aside.

When I needed to look at my relationships with my family members, I wanted to close the notebook.
I prayed hard. GOD!!!!
I got no strength to go on.
I opened the notebook and thought the relationships over, where they need to be mended. Pray and submit to God.

When I needed to look into my relationships with friends, I felt the same reluctance again.
Same went to my relationships.
I always liked to show people as if I had been healed from all pains.
I like to tell my own sad stories without emotion, as if it is not my own.

Now, I am learning to be honest to myself.
It is bad enough not to be fake before other people, it is even worse to tell lies to yourself.

If you are happy, show it. Don't be afraid that people will be offended.
If you are sad, it is OK to cry.
If you love someone, don't show as if you don't care.

I realised I don't allow myself to feel sad, happy, angry and all.
I always tried to be neutral.
Emotionless.

Oh Athens, be true to yourself.

Continue my story on redeeming relationship with my family....

The problem with me is, I know very little about my extended family.
When we were asked to construct our family tree, I realized that I don't even know my grandfather's name.

He died when my dad was 10. It seems to be a painful topic.
There are a lot more taboo names and events in my extended family.
One never present for reunion dinner.
I have not seen one of my cousins before.
Did my grandfather have another family last time?

There are a lot of questions, but I never care to ask.
Or I never dare to ask.
They shunned away from telling, because the stories are too painful.
It disturbs the perceived peaceful mind when the topics are brought up.
But I still want to know.
I am digging into a handful of painful stories, trying to understand more about my extended family.
I pray hard.
Lord, make my conversations with them bring healing, and not more hurts.

Here comes the night series
"Redeeming relationships"

The speaker spoke about redeeming relationship with God during the first week of camp.
Then we were given different exercises to do to allow God to reveal what are some brokenness in our relationship with Him.

What were our experiences with the idols/ other gods before we came to know Jesus that might now hinder our relationship with our God?

What are some of the distorted views that we have about God?
(eg, since we call Him Father in heaven, are our views on God distorted because our imperfect fathers on earth influence us to have weird thoughts about our God?)

What hinder us from getting closer to God?
(eg, sins, refusal to forgive)

I found myself struggling with this issue.
I always want something that I don't have.
In other words, I find myself seething with jealousy.

When I look at my friends, I ask God.
God, why do You give her so much?
Good look, good family, talents, money?

Why is she better looking than me? She is so attractive.

Why is she born in a good Christian family? She has all the education she needs. She need not worry about so many things.

Why is she so talented? She sings very well. She plays the piano. She leads. She 's sociable. All eyes are on her.

Why does she have so much money to spend on herself, looking even better.
God, I want a dslr. Why so many of my friends can afford to have one?

Thank God that I always repent very fast and did not do anything disastrous.
I stopped at just thinking.
But I never stopped asking.
As I quietened down myself, I knew that it was God who was speaking to me.
So gently.

Can good look satisfies you?
Sincerely I searched my heart.
I answered, no.

Can a good family satisfies you?
A good family can matter so much! But can it really satisfy me?
No. Reluctantly, I answered.

Can money satisfy you?
With money I can buy so many things. But will I be truly satisfied?
I answered, no.

Not even a DSLR, what you really want since a long time ago, can satisfy you.
Not even by traveling to Prague and Maldives, your dream vacations, can satisfy you.

His voice was so soft and gentle. He wasn't scolding. He wasn't impatient. He was like a father patiently explaining to a young childish kid.

Then I asked, Lord, what then can satisfy me?
Me, He said.

How?
I AM WHO I AM. This is my name. (Exodus 3:14)

?????
????
???
??
?

I didn't understand.
At last, I got it.

Very gently, He told me.

I AM WHO I AM.

I will be your eternal lover.
I will be your friend.
I will give you the security you need.
I will be who you need.

I can't describe the feeling.
It is like you knew exactly that He is there with you.

Is that peace?
I don't know.

After "Lectio Divina" and breakfast, we had talks entitled" Chronicles of God and His Kingdom".

We had different speakers every week.
The speakers took us through the bible- from Genesis to Revelation to give us a brief account of what God has been doing and what He is still doing today.

In the first week, what struck me the most is this characteristic of God.
God knew that men is going to betray Him again and again.
First Adam would not follow His instruction and would take the forbidden fruit.
Then again and again the people sin against Him.

Yes, God knew all these are going to happen.
Men will not remember God.
But He still chose to create us, love us and even to pay a very heavy price to save us.
He allowed Himself to be vulnerable to injuries.
When I looked into the bible, indeed.
He is grieving for us, the people who do not know Him.
The people full of sin.
Jesus wept.

My mind was thinking.
An emo God?
A love I can't comprehend.

Second thing that struck me.
Men sinned in paradise.
When they had everything.
In the garden of Eden, there was everything.
The presence of God, abundance of food, a duty given, love between husband and wife.
There was no shame.
Adam and Eve were put to take care of the garden.
If let's say they eat a fruit for each meal, 3 kinds of fruits per day, how many days would they take to finish trying all?

Yet they were tempted, to doubt God's intention.
Why God? I want to be like God. Right Now.

Men sinned in paradise.
Some blamed Adam and Eve to have sinned.
That's why human race suffers since then.
Would you do the same if you were in their shoes?

Most probably. This is my answer. Sigh.

The speaker posted a thought.
The churches now are like Eden.
We have everything.
We have the love of God, the forgiveness of sins, a purpose of life etc.
Watch out!

Men still are able to sin.
Churches are growing, sometimes not because many turn to Christ, but because church splits.
Different opinions, fights, splits.
Christians of course would have different opinions!
But how to resolve the problems and maintain unity is to see the love and wisdom of the leaders.
We often just walk away.

May God bless His church.

10-29 May 2010
Lakeview Lutheren, Cameron Highlands
Fellowship of Evengelical Student

It's so FUN to be with God~

Phew~
Finally I am back from the mountain.
Ibelieve that the experience was more than a mere mountain top experience.
I met God there.
There is no turning back.

The most valuable thing that I found was to expect God to speak personally. Ask, and you shall be given.

Ok......I shall start telling you what on earth the 3 weeks camp was for.
So looooong!
Let's start with the first program every morning.
It's called "Lectio Divina", which means divine reading.
It was actually listening to the scripture (bible).
The Word of God was meant to be listened.
The Jews listened to the Word every Sabbath for they had no written bible.
Now more often we just read and read and feel that the bible is boring or just another ordinary storybook, not getting the power of the Word of God.

This was how it was run.
Mornings at cameron were often super cold.
All gathered at hall. All were asked to quiet down ourselves and see what came into our mind.
When the thoughts enter our mind, we don't push them aside, as many other meditations do.
Instead, we thought them over and submit them to God.

We close our eyes and trying to listen what God wanted to tell us that day.
Then the speaker then read out some versus.
Then silence. We listened and quieten ourselves before God.
The versus were read again.
Then silence. We meditated.
Then again.

Then we would write our responses (prayer, thoughts etc).
Then we shared with each other.

How did I know it was God speaking to me, and not my own thinking?
Let me share my experiences.
One morning I quieten down myself, trying to listen to God.
My mind was quite blank. I was feeling cold.
Suddenly there was a thought entering my mind.

You must humble down yourself. You are too proud.
I realized it was indeed my weakness. He wanted me to realize everything I have is from Him.
I then prayed to God, ask Him to teach me how to be humble.
Then the scripture was read.

It was from 2 Chronicles 7:14
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

The Word struck me.

There were other experiences too. They were not coincidences!
Who am I that You would want to speak to me, my Father in heaven?
Stay tuned for more the next few posts.